The Washington Times reported that Medicare overpaid sixty-four million dollars for erection pumps which the federal program provides Read more, In the news: Duck Dynasty, crack-smoking mayor, lottery & more Duck Dynastys family patriarch Phil Robertson was put on hiatus by A&E Network after he compared homosexuality to Read more, Elton John, Mayor Rob Ford, the NSA & much more! During the shutdown, the cable news showed a Buffalo man trudging his way through six feet of snow and clearing a path barehanded. Im an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist, Argus says. By Argus Hamilton, January 18, 2014 All the trans-genders in the Games have given little girls who want to grow up to achieve Olympic stardom a new motto to live by. The owners of the medals have notified the police. Let's see what our Doctors of the Soul have to say. Traveling From California Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? AAE is one of the premier celebrity booking agencies and top keynote speakers bureaus in the world. Tom Brady was reported by Radar Online Tuesday to have decided to spend the next year before he becomes an NFL sportscaster performing stand-up comedy. By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism. Las Vegas hotels were reported Tuesday setting up legal consumption lounges for pot smokers to keep them out of the casinos and off the streets. 63,852 used cars for sale from Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Reproduction and distribution of content, with or without modification, without written permission of Laugh Factory Inc., is prohibited. Take every bad habit you have, then multiply it by ten thousand, and youll realize that five years is a pretty good run.California storms churned waves that clobbered the World Yacht Races Monday. The Los Angeles Times reports the second man to step foot on the moon, NASAs legendary Buzz Aldrin married a much younger woman on his 93rd birthday Saturday in a ceremony in Beverly Hills. We'll never post to Facebook without your permission We will access Facebook to get and use your email address, Tweet with a location. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Be the first to receive new merch items! You can read Argus Hamilton's outrageously funny humor column on the Internet Tuesday through Friday and Sunday -- at www.argushamilton.com/today.htm. Copyright 2023 All American Speakers Bureau. Anheuser-Busch courted customer outrage and boycott by celebrating Transgender Rights Day by placing transgender woman activist Dylan Mulvaneys image on Bud Light beer cans Pope Francis hosts Good Friday services in Rome today for Roman Catholics worldwide. Theyd better give it to us. So far, Im blessed to be having a good year financially. Hamilton: With all the potato chip flavors, who needs other foods. U.S. numbers will start declining as our numbers lag a week behind England's. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. The Walt Disney Company released the trailer for the upcoming action adventure Peter Pan and Wendy based on J.M. Get ready for all of The Comedy Store tales! Editors have the option to run all the columns, some of the columns, edited versions of the columns, daily excerpts or a weekly compilation. [1] [6] Biography Please join them, and help support independent media! She actually demanded that half of the crash dummies used be female crash dummies. All American Entertainment Named to Inc. Best Workplaces in 2022. The UN News reported Tuesday that plastic pollution in the world's oceans is expected to double by 2030. Any debate between Trump and Biden should be held in the balcony of the Muppet Theater. Laugh Factory Inc., 8001 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046. Lets see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Social media won't tolerate any observation unless it's serious. Im starting to think Im responsible for this pandemic Buffalo warmed up Thursday ending the citys weeklong record blizzard home shutdown. Argus is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including the San Francisco Chronicle, the Los Angeles Times and the Seattle Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine, by sports columnists around the country, and by radio hosts who took a cue from the late Paul Harvey, one of Argus longtime fans and admirers. Ask Argus anything you want to know or ask Argus his advice about comedy, writing, Hollywood, etc. Laugh Factory, LaughFactory.com, the Laugh Factory logo, and all media posted have proprietary rights and are registered as trademarks and copyrights, of Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Last night during the Games, the Americans took the Gold Silver and Bronze medals. The Publicists Manual states that in order to stay in the news, you scream racism for three days and then you develop a cocaine problem and get arrested on Sunset Boulevard.ARGUS HAMILTON, GB, Albert departments battle two structure fires Monday, Council OKs resolutions for Zarah loft project, Local volunteers strive to include girls in youth soccer, Bernard (Barney) John Kruse 1952 - 2023. Scientists say its far from over and prepare for new variants. Not just muppets Hamilton: ATM in the gym lobby is best machine to impress the women, Hamilton: Bud Light has always been trans its water that identifies as beer, Hamilton: I found nuclear launch codes in a fortune cookie, Hamilton: MSNBC crucifies Trump every morning, Fox raises him from the dead, Hamilton: The Founding Fathers would be on the FBI watch list today, Hamilton: Payoffs, hush money show Trump knows how to negotiate, Hamilton: Settling for Partly Cloudy Daniels, Hamilton: Alliance aligns with March Madness bracket picks, Hamilton: Not everybody can be Irish; somebody has to drive, Hamilton: Vodka mixes well with everything but decisions, Hamilton: Tax refund will pay for that dozen eggs, Hamilton: Money left in your bank account after taxes is an IRS red flag, Hamilton: Tinker Bell has new sister in latest movie, Hamilton: Life in prison is diminishing deterrent for the aging, Hamilton: This candidate gets you four presidents in one, Uncle Sams tall hat handy when its being passed around, Hamilton: Look how much I still owe to Ukraine, Hamilton: Prez shoots down balloon angioplasty idea out of habit. The Treasury Department released Congressional Budget Office statistics revealing that federal revenue this year will top $4 trillion dollars, mostly from income taxes and payroll taxes. Madonna blamed ageism and sexism President Biden will deliver his State of the Union tonight before a joint session of the House and Senate gathered in the House Chamber in the U.S. Capitol. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Umbrella-gate & More! Watch Classic photo of Argus performing on The Tonight Show. It's fun for about two weeks. The Mars Curiosity rover was rebooted by NASA Monday after it had an unexpected glitch this past weekend. The official Facebook page of comedian, talk show host, and writer Argus Hamilton. (Unbelievable, but true.) Get access to a fantastic community of comedy fans! Biden will open by declaring the State of the Union is strong, and theres evidence Joe is right. The difference is President Biden twice last week indicated that he is planning to announce that hes running for re-election for president soon. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. He'd just steal the show. They want Florida, New Jersey and California to tear down all the Trump statues on his golf courses. I compare the voting rights bill to Jussie . Find Property for sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. You can enjoy Argus' nationally syndicated column five days a week, Tuesday through Friday and Sunday, 52 weeks a year. Published Jan. 25, 2021. Editorials Letters Columns Rants & Raves. Government workers will have to stop not working. The Southerner is an outspoken conservative and a loyal Trump ally. He must have passed the physical. Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Argus Hamilton is an American stand-up comedian, writer, and host of The Comedy Store Tonight starring Argus Hamilton. St. Patricks Day celebrations were held nationwide Friday honoring the accomplishments of the Irish people, their culture, their contributions to literature, and their passion for self-determination in Ireland. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus says. Everyone agrees he needs at least three more concussions to be as funny as Terry Bradshaw. By supporting creators you love on Patreon, you're becoming an active participant in their creative process. I hope Oscar night spotlights glamour and movie magic and not political issues. Comedy Store legend Argus Hamilton jokes about the news of the day and chats with comedians and other entertainers from the basement of the World Famous Come. Mitt Romneys dad was an auto executive and cars and oil go hand-in-hand like solar panels and bankruptcy.House Republicans will propose tax deductions for small busines on Tax Day. Its the most liberal court in America. All rights reserved. Its so sad.If PGA golfers would just tee it up in the rough every now and then when nobodys looking, they might get it out of their system.Californias Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the state ban on affirmative action in college admissions Monday. Santa Claus has a new helper this year. Contents of this site are Copyright 2023 Prescott Newspapers, Inc. and Western News&Info, Inc. All rights reserved. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. He said Italians are emotional people who like to express themselves physically. They said it shows that in the past World Cups it was the gays who caused all the trouble. Hamilton: Do you know all the letters of the alphabet? . Barneys Beanery owner Lauren Taines offered me a dinner for being the last bar I drank at before getting sober Nov. 3, 1986. Well, I don't know about Laurel, she looks more like Hardy to me. Get access to a bi-monthly live Q&A with Argus (and sometimes a special guest!). Porn Hub offered to help the White House fix the ObamaCare website Tuesday. Argus Hamilton, Southern Man of Taste The Comedy Store Podcast Stand-Up Argus has seen it all and today he shares a couple of stories in which the felonies that were committed have passed the statute of limitations for prosecution in the great state of California. Argus Hamilton's bio posted by Susan Shelley @ 2:39 AM The food went rancid Read more, The news according to Argus! All Rights Reserved. The inventor of the Stairmaster died at 54, the inventor of gymnastics died at 57 and the inventor of opium died at the age of 116, during an earthquake. Hamilton: Did Madonna get stung by a bee? Copyright 1979 - 2022. Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. We thank you. And to cap it off, Ruperts much-younger fiance just called off the marriage. The cop asked me why I ran through a red light and I told him its 2023, I dont see color. sustaining monthly donation. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. This year Bill Murray was in Florida telling cameras here we are at Tom Bradys retirement again. Fox replies, hold my beer! Check out our current wonderful Sustaining Supporters here! Are you singing the seasonal allergies blues? Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: From A-Rod to Carlos Danger, Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: The Royal Baby & Much More. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations. Hamilton: State of Union is strong; at least when it comes to eggs. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Hamilton: What happened to presidential quality control? He is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including The San Francisco Chronicle and the Los Angeles Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey. Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton Published Dec. 21, 2022 Miss Manners notes the recent sharp decline in etiquette and social manners in public. Read more, In the news: Toronto Mayor, Obamacare & More! Arizona residents wonder why you call it Snowbird Season if you can't shoot at them. Simone showed tremendous courage by stepping down from the very top because her mental state isn't quite right. The Silicon Valley Banks failure was blamed on the combination of higher interest rates and the banks woke business practices. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Prince William and Kate left her parents home Friday, sparking frenzy that the royal birth was Read more. Welcome to part five of our annual look at the Year in Jokes. Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? <style> body { -ms-overflow-style: scrollbar; overflow-y: scroll; overscroll-behavior-y: none; } .errorContainer { background-color: #FFF; color: #0F1419; max-width . One thing Read more, Rodeo clowns and sensitivity training: Talk about your joke setups! |, Hamilton: Honoring Willie, the man whos smoked everything. It also identifies the celebrants who need to go to rehab. I remember a bartender shouted out, asking does anyone knows CPR so I yelled, I know ALL the letters of the alphabet! I would like to join the exclusive Laugh Factory Members Club. The Weather Channel reported a winter storm crossed the nation Wednesday as blizzards buried the Midwest and hailstorms pounded the South. Hamilton: Brady too old to be a quarterback, too young to be president, Hamilton: Egg shortage? Related Tags: Information on keynote speaking engagements, personal appearances, corporate entertainment and appearance fees for Argus Hamilton, an inspirational motivational speaker. In a nod to Holy Week, MSNBC crucifies Trump every morning and every afternoon Fox News raises him from the dead. Polls say it would end up being Biden then age 82 vs. Donald Trump then age 78. Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. Tiger Woods played well over the weekend in the Los Angeles Open sponsored by Genesis, the parent company of Hyundai. See our Privacy Policy. Now Biden wants to issue his own trading card, but he's terrified they'll put his career stats on the back of the card. Read more, In the news, Bill Clinton hosts the annual Bob Hope Desert Classic in Palm Springs all week. Commentary. By Argus Hamilton Published August 4, 2021 The White House didn't comment Monday on why President Biden was not invited to Barack Obama's sixtieth birthday party.

The Worst Things About Fraserburgh, Male Depression And Emotional Affairs, Articles A